Archive | June, 2011

no real update yet.

15 Jun

Eggs still hasn’t talked to the RE yet, so i still don’t know what’s going on. after much thought, i think i’m willing to try again with her eggs, as long as the RE can do something differently and give us a better chance of having usable eggs retrieved. still hoping for them to choose an egg donor though.

 

we’ll see 🙂

 

all i know is that this period is going to SUCK, because my lining was super flufftastic this month. DREADING it. i told my husband it’s going to look like someone was murdered, and he laughed at me.

Advertisements

:'(

12 Jun

to be continued, i ‘spose. they only got one egg yesterday, and we found out this morning that it did not fertilize. so now i wait to here what Eggs and Flour decide to do.

my brain is full of thoughts right now, but i’m not sure how to put it on “paper”. stay tuned…

OH HAI THERE, UTERUS.

12 Jun

like, holy shit. we upped the dosage on the estrogen this morning, and about three hours after my shot, my uterus started feeling tender. full, even. like i kind of had to pee, even though i don’t. i feel all bloated.

but after asking around on the internets, turns out it’s normal. it’s just because my body’s all, “HEY. LET’S BUILD THIS LINING REALLY FAST, HOKAY?” and my uterus is like, “WHOA DUDES. YOUR STRETCHING ME OUT REAL QUICK, AND STUFF.”

so, yeah… i’m hyper aware of my uterus today. not comfortable. and my waistband of my jeans hurts. so i wore a dress. i can only imagine what i’m going to feel like by thursday. O_o

things are falling into place.

11 Jun

i had another blood draw and ultrasound this morning. u/s went well- the last u/s i had was last thursday, and my lining was 1.6mm thick. they had me go ahead and have a “bleed” (what they refer to as a period. like, can’t we just call it a period?) (also? TMI? yes. but i told you this would happen. you were warned.) i stopped bleeding two days ago, which started me from scratch, and today my lining was already up to 4.6mm. i did that in two days. i also had the “triple stripe” in my lining, it’s just basically that you can see the layers, and it’s a good thing. from what i understand that means that the lining is showing maturity… whatever that means, well, your guess is as good as mine, but my lining is mature, damnit. and awesome.

and i ‘spose Eggs is doing really well too, because she was supposed to have the egg retrieval on the 15th… and they are doing it TOMORROW. so, YAY FOR EGGS. and then Sunday the embryologist will contact me with the fertilization report, which just tells us how many of the eggs she produced were fertilized and growing happily. then on day three, Monday, they will do the PGD (preimplantation  genetic diagnosis- this makes sure the embryos they are putting in don’t have any major genetic defects. Eggs being older raises those chances.) and make sure everything looks good, and that we have some male embryos to work with (Eggs and Flour have three daughters… they are ready for a boy this time:)), and then the 16th, it’s game time. time-to-get-knocked-up-time. i can’t believe it’ pretty much here already.

so. i have more meds to take now. hubs has been shooting me up with .1cc of delestrogen in the hiney every three days. now it will be .3cc. and tomorrow i start the progesterone, uhm, vaginal inserts. joy to the world. i have heard they are beyond messy. sounds like fun right? and then i have to take progesterone lozenges (really? it’s not a cough drop.) under my tongue three times a day. and they sent me grape flavor. I HATE GRAPE FLAVOR. like, loathe. but i’ll deal. i just might barf a little in my mouth.

AND THEN. well. and then i hope i got knocked up on our first try, and i will start poas (peeing on a stick, for those of you not hip with the lingo) about 5 days after transfer. so the 21st. although i bet i break down and pee once on the 20th. i mean, i NEED to know right. and i can already tell i should go to poas-anonymous… i have TWENTY SIX pee sticks in my bathroom drawer. i shouldn’t have admitted that to you, but i did. (insert shameful face here.)

for katherine.

10 Jun

OH HAI KATHERINE! i told  you i’d answer your questions! i’m late as all get out, but as promised, here you are…

1. Did you know the couple you’re doing this for beforehand?

no, i did not. i actually was matched with a “traditional” couple last October. i had some gut feelings that told me to run… that told me that these people were not being upfront and honest with me, and I decided to break off our match before we signed contracts. i knew in my heart that they were not the couple i was meant to carry for, and that i would likely be worse for the wear if i did.

then in february, i met a wonderful single gay dad, who already had a child through surrogacy, a daughter. he wanted a sibling for her, and his old surro had decided to try for one of her own. we were all set to meet, and four days before he flew out to meet me, she changed her mind. i understood, of course, why he went back with her, but it hurt just a bit.

and now i am matched with… let’s call them, Eggs and Flour. (you know, Eggs being the mom. DUH. and you need eggs and flour to BAKE, so, it all makes sense, right? i’m so damn clever. NOT.) anyways. Eggs and Flour are a wonderful couple. Eggs and Flour are like, AMAZINGLY SMART FOLKS, folks. and Eggs is beyond sweet. Eggs doesn’t want a BFF-type relationship with her surro, and i’m cool with that. doesn’t mean she’s not sweet, she just knows what she wants.  they plan on sending me photo updates now and then, and Christmas cards, and i am welcome to email her afterwards. but no BFF business. they want a baby, i want to be pregnant and give someone a baby, and that’s what we’re here for. it would be nice if things were a bit different in the relationship department, but i’m ok with how it is.

2. Was there something specific in your life that made you want to be a surrogate?

not any one eye opening event, no. i’ve always been kind of excited about the idea of pregnancy. my sil struggled with IF for a while, and i knew i would carry for her if she ever asked or needed it. and then when i was pg with my daughter, well, i was good at it. i started looking into surrogacy about a year after she was born, and after a lot of research and soul searching, i knew it was something i wanted to do. i truly think i was meant to.

3. How did you bring it up to your husband? How did he react initially?

i remember initially joking with my husband, like, “hey! you know how i want to be pregnant? but how S is a whole lot of work? well… i could always, you know, be a surrogate.” and he was just all nonchalant, like, “yeah, i guess you could.” i totally thought he was ignoring me, but when he said that, i thought about it for a few days, and brought it up seriously again. as long as it wasn’t my egg, he was cool. he has always been 100% supportive of me, and i don’t know why i expected some other reaction, but that was that. it was simple. he was behind me for day 1. which is cool. my husband’s kind of the shit, y’all.

one down.

5 Jun

first, let me show you my box of goodies that came in the mail.
box o' goodies
apparently you don’t get knocked up with someone else’s kid by accident. lol. and below is my morning cocktail.
my morning cocktail
my husband gave me my first delestrogen injection this morning! i also started the prenatal vitamins, baby aspirin, folate, and dha. the injection wasn’t too bad… except i had a momentary freak out at my husband. i’ll let you in on the conversation-

me: “no, that’s not where it goes!”

him: “shush. this is a big alcohol pad. just because i started wiping there doesn’t mean that’s where i’m going to stick you.”

me: “where then?”

him: “here.” (points to a spot that’s WAY TOO HIGH.)

me: “uh, no. the nurse said where the outer upper pocket of my jeans would be. so, right here.” (points to the correct spot on my hiney.)

him: “that’s not what the diagram shows.”

me: “f*ck the diagram. i’m listening to the nurse. and it’s my ass, so you’ll poke me where i tell you. which is HERE.” (points again.)

him: “there’s a bruise right there.”

me: “well, then right beside the bruise. just do it.”

he starts to do it… when i realize he’s not spreading my skin out like the instructions say. i turn over, and he’s poised to stab. it was kind of funny, because he was just staring at this spot on my hiney.

me: “are  you gonna make my skin tight? did you even read the directions?!”

him: “no. i was going on what you told me.”

me: (massive eyeroll) “ok.” (reads instructions about how to spread skin out.)

INJECTION TIME.

me: “that was it?”

him: “yep. you’re a big weenie. i told you i’d do it right.”

(yeah. he did it right. after i told him where to do it. and to stretch the skin. this is why men always have extra parts when they put stuff together… THEY DON’T READ INSTRUCTIONS.)

so. all in all, wasn’t bad. next time i won’t be so worried about him screwing up and it’ll probably take all of four seconds.

(and katherine? if you’re reading, i want you to know i’m not ignoring your questions. i will make a post answering those in the next few days. 🙂 )

two days later.

3 Jun

my whole schedule, that is. i will get a big box full of delestrogen and needles and syringes tomorrow. the husband is pretty stoked about getting to stab me in the arse with a needle every three days… and i’m kind of scared out of my mind since the only training he gets is a diagram and a couple of tips from the doctor.

someone hold me. first injection is sunday.

(oh and. first ultrasound- lining was 1.6mm, but they are going to have me go ahead and have a bleed. 7 follicles, but we aren’t worried about that at all. found out my OB is totally absent minded when it comes to the weenie wand, because he finished typing the results while he held that stupid thing in there… i was like, “so are we done? can you get that thing out of me yet?” neat.)