OH HAI KATHERINE! i told you i’d answer your questions! i’m late as all get out, but as promised, here you are…
1. Did you know the couple you’re doing this for beforehand?
no, i did not. i actually was matched with a “traditional” couple last October. i had some gut feelings that told me to run… that told me that these people were not being upfront and honest with me, and I decided to break off our match before we signed contracts. i knew in my heart that they were not the couple i was meant to carry for, and that i would likely be worse for the wear if i did.
then in february, i met a wonderful single gay dad, who already had a child through surrogacy, a daughter. he wanted a sibling for her, and his old surro had decided to try for one of her own. we were all set to meet, and four days before he flew out to meet me, she changed her mind. i understood, of course, why he went back with her, but it hurt just a bit.
and now i am matched with… let’s call them, Eggs and Flour. (you know, Eggs being the mom. DUH. and you need eggs and flour to BAKE, so, it all makes sense, right? i’m so damn clever. NOT.) anyways. Eggs and Flour are a wonderful couple. Eggs and Flour are like, AMAZINGLY SMART FOLKS, folks. and Eggs is beyond sweet. Eggs doesn’t want a BFF-type relationship with her surro, and i’m cool with that. doesn’t mean she’s not sweet, she just knows what she wants. they plan on sending me photo updates now and then, and Christmas cards, and i am welcome to email her afterwards. but no BFF business. they want a baby, i want to be pregnant and give someone a baby, and that’s what we’re here for. it would be nice if things were a bit different in the relationship department, but i’m ok with how it is.
2. Was there something specific in your life that made you want to be a surrogate?
not any one eye opening event, no. i’ve always been kind of excited about the idea of pregnancy. my sil struggled with IF for a while, and i knew i would carry for her if she ever asked or needed it. and then when i was pg with my daughter, well, i was good at it. i started looking into surrogacy about a year after she was born, and after a lot of research and soul searching, i knew it was something i wanted to do. i truly think i was meant to.
3. How did you bring it up to your husband? How did he react initially?
i remember initially joking with my husband, like, “hey! you know how i want to be pregnant? but how S is a whole lot of work? well… i could always, you know, be a surrogate.” and he was just all nonchalant, like, “yeah, i guess you could.” i totally thought he was ignoring me, but when he said that, i thought about it for a few days, and brought it up seriously again. as long as it wasn’t my egg, he was cool. he has always been 100% supportive of me, and i don’t know why i expected some other reaction, but that was that. it was simple. he was behind me for day 1. which is cool. my husband’s kind of the shit, y’all.